Where Do You Sit On The Happiness Curve?
This week my daughter attended her first shift at her new job at the local pizza place. Being 13, she surprised and impressed me with her enterprising spirit, having instigated the process of securing her new position entirely of her own volition. She even surprised herself with the results of her eager venture into the world of employment – she got the job. Reality began to dawn on her…now she had to see this through. The following days for her were interspersed with periods of rising apprehension about actually having to walk through that door into the unknown world of ‘work’. To say that I was proud when I dropped her off and even more so when I saw the big smile of relief and gratification when I greeted her at the end of her shift is an understatement, my heart was bursting with love and pride.
So I ask myself, what is it that would drive a 13-year-old girl to put herself through the angst of all that? I guess the answer is the same thing that drives all of us to reluctantly venture out of our comfort zones at times – the pursuit of happiness. Happiness of course means different things to different people. For my daughter, the idea of some financial independence coupled with the desire to achieve something greater than her norm was enough to push her through the fear of the unknown. For myself, at 43, the objectives that tend to motivate me out of my safe place have evolved since I was my daughter’s age. Of course, money is always a good motivator, but with age comes a little wisdom and some discernment. By middle age, most of us have learned or at least begun to question the validity of the common assumption that ‘money will buy you happiness’. We have most likely started to learn from experience (either through financial hardship or having succeeded financially) that there is much more to feeling fulfilled than owning the nice car or the nice house.
What Makes Us Happy?
So, what does make us happy and how does that change over time? Can our age be an indicator of our happiness?
Happiness can be a challenging thing to measure as the experience is subjective. However, we all can identify when we are happy and when we are not. Well-being is strongly linked to happiness, Better Health Channel says that “Every aspect of your life influences your state of well-being.” Researchers investigating happiness have found the following factors enhance a person’s well-being:
happy intimate relationship with a partner- network of close friends
- enjoyable and fulfilling career
- enough money
- regular exercise
- nutritional diet
- enough sleep
- spiritual or religious beliefs
- fun hobbies and leisure pursuits
- healthy self-esteem
- optimistic outlook
- realistic and achievable goals
- sense of purpose and meaning
- a sense of belonging
- the ability to adapt to change
- living in a fair and democratic society.
Though not conclusive, some have suggested that happiness over time follows a U-shaped curve (parabola), bottoming out in middle age.
Others allude to the view that as people age, they are confronted with more losses and challenges thus threatening overall happiness.
Many others reason that happiness increases in older age as the capacity for wisdom and perspective grows with the ensuing years.
According to a study published in the journal Psychological Bulletin in 2023, researchers comprehensively examined subjective well-being (SWB) across the lifespan.
The study objective was to answer: How does SWB develop across the lifespan?
This study: SBW data was drawn from theories and previous empirical research. In this epidemiological study design, the available longitudinal data was synthesized on mean-level change in three SWB constituents.
- Life satisfaction
- Positive emotional states
- Negative emotional states
The study’s enormous scope of 433 samples with a total of 460,902 participants, allowed researchers to draw meaningful insights from a diverse range of sources.
These participants spanned various age groups and life stages, contributing to the depth and accuracy of the findings.
Study Findings
This extensive research shed light on the intricate relationship between age and happiness. Here are the key takeaways:
- Life satisfaction: The study reported that life satisfaction follows a shifting passage across the lifespan. It showed a decline between the ages of 9 and 16, corresponding with formative years and pubescent changes. Thereafter, life satisfaction increased until around the age of 70. It then decreased once more after the age of 70, continuing until the age of 96.
- Positive emotional states: Positive emotional states generally declined from age 9 to 94.
- Negative emotional states: Negative emotional states showed minor fluctuations between ages 9 and 22, then regressed until around age 60. After this point, negative emotional states increased again until age 87. Highlighting a need for supportive measures to be engaged with older adults.
Despite the fluctuations, the study indicated a positive trend in life satisfaction and negative emotional states over a significant portion of life.
Our Survey
Because happiness is a universally relatable condition that everyone is familiar with and we were curious to see some evidence from some average Aussies, My Social Support Network decided to conduct our own informal mini-survey. We sent out a basic 5-question survey form to a small sample of people 50 years or older. We received 10 anonymous responses.
We asked which decade of age did the participants believe they were happiest; options were between their 20’s and 70’s and they were given a multiple choice set of options to choose from for their reasons why (participants were allowed to choose more than one answer here). We then asked the same of when and why they were unhappiest. The 5th and final question required a written response, participants were asked What advice would you give to others about finding lasting happiness?
Below are the results of the multiple-choice questions:
From the above results, I noticed some interesting data:
- 70% of participants said they were happiest at 50 years or older.
- Relationships and family was the life domain that had the highest source of happiness and unhappiness for participants – 37.5% and 33.3% respectively. Indicating that relationships and family is a highly valued life domain for the participants surveyed.
- Work satisfaction was the lowest source of happiness at 8.3% with 20% of participants choosing that as one of the available options during their happiest decade of life.
- 30% of participants said their happiest decade was between the age of 20 and 49.
- 80% of participants said they were unhappiest during their 30’s and 40’s, both coming in at 40% each. Indicating that this was a highly unsatisfactory and challenging period. All life domains were substantially affected with the exception of social connectedness and a sense of community, which only 1 participant chose as a source of unhappiness.
- Work satisfaction was more likely to be chosen as a source of unhappiness than a source of happiness but was still a relatively low source of unhappiness at 16.7%.
The written responses we received to question 5 were uplifting to read. Some were inspiring, some were poignant, and all contained some wisdom. Participant 7 said “To each person, happiness may be a different thing. Each must be guided by their yearning or attraction. My way, of meditation, includes not seeking happiness; of realising that happiness is not the goal. Of realising that peace and joy and equanimity are states of being – inherent in the human+being”. Participant 3 advised “Believe in yourself and keep busy. Share your life with someone you love and especially love and reach out to your family. Get up early and give up worrying”. Participant 9 expressed that “Spiritual awareness is way more important than most people realise. Health and wealth will follow if you take care of yourself spiritually.” (Answers published with permission).
Conclusion:
I conclude that each of the three main stages of life (youth, middle age and old age) all bring with them the seed of happiness, a potential that lies within each person. Circumstances, attitudes and beliefs all contribute to whether that seed sprouts and flourishes. Youth can be a time of energy, curiosity and endless possibilities. An exciting time of our lives indeed. Everything is fresh and full of potential; old age is just a vague concept that lives in the very distant future. However, the time of youth is not without its challenges; one may find they have a sense of not really knowing who they are or what they want to do with their life. The journey of transitioning from child to adult can be a very bumpy road as one learns to be independent and sets forth to build their own life.
Around our 30’s and 40’s is when things seem to dip down on the happiness curve. We are often confronted with the turmoil of trying to maintain a work life balance, raising children, maintaining financial stability and security, relationship issues, health concerns and aging parents. It is not surprising that all of this seems to be accompanied the feeling that there isn’t enough time to deal with any of it well This does seem to coincide with the infamous ‘mid-life crisis’ that many experience around this time as one grapples with existential questions about purpose and meaning and our values can begin to shift. Nevertheless, many also find that this period can bring a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment as individuals settle into their roles and pursue long-term goals.
As we enter our mature years, we may begin to feel as though the load is beginning to lighten a little. The challenges of our 30’s and 40’s has forced us (often painfully) to grow. We may find that we feel more comfortable in our own skin and have reached a stage of higher emotional maturity, which leads to greater emotional stability and resilience. We may have more time for ourselves to pursue joyful and fulfilling activities. Older age can also be a period of increased loss. Loss of loved ones, loss of health and eventually loss of independence, we have come full circle as the prospect of imminent departure looms. If one hasn’t already, one may turn to matters of spiritual interest to help one navigate through the testing waters of older age. Thankfully though, by the time we have reached this point in our lives (if we are fortunate) a natural wisdom has developed, and we have a wealth of knowledge and experience to draw on. With acceptance of our impermanence comes a deeper appreciation of the simple things in life like spending time with loved ones and spending time in nature that would otherwise not be possible.
In the end it really doesn’t matter what stage of life we are at; it is never too early or too late to start incorporating more happiness into our lives. Below are a few suggested places you could look to for inspiration:
- Cultivate compassion – Caring for others widens our perspective. When we focus only on ourselves, our problems can seem overwhelming. However, when we care for others, our own difficulties appear less significant, leading to a calmer mind.
- Expand our minds – Remember that happiness is not always about wild highs or explosive joy; it’s about connecting with something innate within you. By practicing meditation and embracing mindfulness, you can tap into that underlying sense of contentment and well-being.
- Appreciation goes a long way – Practising gratitude is a powerful way to augment feelings of happiness and contentment. Some people like to keep a gratitude journal, write a thank you letter, or take a gratitude walk. Check out this great article for more suggestions and benefits of practicing gratitude.
- Avoid comparing yourself to others – Comparing ourselves to others is a common tendency, but it can have negative effects on our well-being. When we compare ourselves unfavorably to others, we often become self-critical.
- Mingle – Socialising staves off feelings of loneliness. Connecting with friends, family, or community members provides emotional support and a sense of belonging.
- The peace of the natural world – Spending time in nature can elevate your mood and promote emotional wellness. Whether it’s taking a stroll along a secluded beach, hiking up that mountain path, or simply enjoying the warmth of the sun on a green patch at your local park, the benefits are immense.
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Author: Trish Pepper
I found your blog interesting, true, very informative. Regular sleep exercise and quite time important. Contentment with all of the above. Keeps me happy. Thank you for sending this to me. Denice.
Well done Trish. Great read, exceptional insight to what others in life continue too go through and try too live each day as best they can!